Twice More And Then Goodbye
Twice more and then goodbye,
I dare not dwell on it, lest I cry.
But the ache in my chest, knows no rest;
It calls your name throughout the day
And weeps for you at night,
Breaking daily, at the thought of forever
Without that face, that voice, the light of your spirit;
My heart cries an echo of love in your direction,
But you’ll never hear it.
My feelings, formed thoughts, formed words, formed rhyme –
I wrote once of love, but now of loss and the swiftness of time.
I wish you’d stay for evermore,
The wounds of abandonment burn tender and raw.
I’ve sliced and written line after line, of my affection,
The perceived connection,
About your perfection,
And the harshness of reality – your eternal rejection.
The forbidden fruit which grows upon my tree,
Ripened for you,
Offered by me.
But there are some things that simply cannot be,
For my life is a tragedy…
Life brought me to you, only too late,
It always does, life is cruelty and bitterest pain.
There is no sunshine in my sky, it went away,
It hides behind clouds of darkest grey;
I know only blustering winds and torrential rain,
Each day drenching me just the same.
They say ‘Look for rainbows!’
Yet sunlight is needed to light up the sky in radiant colour,
Since there’s no such thing for me,
My life is darker and duller.
Maybe in a different time, a universe far from here,
You could have been my sunshine…
The one whom I’d hold dear.
You’d take my hand and walk with me, to a future of our own;
You’d kiss away the scars of life,
And show me happiness like I’ve never known;
You’d make me feel beautiful, and as though I am your world,
You’d pick the apple from my tree, and make my toes curl.
You’d love me unconditionally
And stay with me for all our lives;
I’d be your best friend, confidant and eventually your wife.
We’d live in bliss for all our days,
The clouds of my life departing, from our love’s rays…
I wistfully dream that maybe, someday, somewhere,
If not in this life, then perhaps once we depart –
In a new life, with a brand new start,
I’ll be given the chance to capture your heart.
And there will be no more hurt,
And no more farewells,
Because ‘Twice more and then goodbye’…
And goodbye is hell.