Tuesday Journal: 07/07/20

Things I am grateful for:

  • The trust of a little butterfly on my walk today – it was on the ground, in the dirt… it seemed like something was wrong with it, so I put my hand down next to it and it hopped right on and let me carry it to the greenery nearby, where it hid under a leaf. I hope it just needed a rest and wasn’t on its last legs…. but I’m grateful it trusted me enough to let me help. ❤
  • It not being too hot atm. Bet it will be now…
  • ASMR
  • Animal Crossing
  • Liv, even though she’s no longer here. ❤
  • Crochet
  • M&S Extremely Chocolatey Milk Chocolate Thins (biscuits)… yum!

 

 

What I struggled with:

  • I’m not sure I had too much of a struggle this week really…. feels odd to say that. Sure I’ve had moments of anger and sadness about things from the past… and been missing people, but nothing world-shattering. So I’ll just go with the physical pains…. finger, wrist, back, feet, headaches…

What I’ve learnt from it:

  • Stretches… exercise…. no pain, no gain. Must push through it and eventually the pain will lessen. Some injuries need rest…. some are a sign I’ve had too much rest!

 

Things I have achieved:

  • I’ve started my half a million steps for Diabetes UK…. done over 21,000 steps so far.
  • Started looking at yoga – hoping it might improve my flexibility and make my walks less painful – had such tightness in my hips / lower back when I started my walks this month… it’s better now. 🙂
  • Written a few new blog posts… just need editing and posting.
  • Learned c2c crochet.
  • Got into more routines in the morning and night – taking more care of myself.
  • Given up chocolate again. Allowed chocolate biscuits this time, but no chocolate.
  • Lost 5 or 6 lbs from lifestyle changes. 🙂

Tuesday Journal: 30/06/20

Can’t believe it’s been 16 weeks I’ve been keeping these journals online, without my group… wonder how many more it’ll be…

 

 

Things I am grateful for:

  • Family – a lot of time with them this week.
  • Sleep … exercise helps me to sleep.
  • ASMR videos / tracks.
  • Painkillers – so much pain.
  • Sane people, fighting against the collective insanity of society atm. And having a place to be able to communicate with those people – not that I’ve spoken out there yet.

 

 

What I struggled with:

  • Body image. Hating every minute thing about myself. I couldn’t bear being in this body. Feeling it’ll only get worse from here as I get older. I’ll never be good enough for someone else, physically. I’ll never be attractive to anyone. I feel I’ve done this to myself. But in some ways I’ve been unfortunate, being cursed with a hormonal issue and the accompanying symptoms. I feel trapped in a body I don’t belong in. I hate myself.

What I learned from it:

  • I can’t undo some of the damage caused to my body. But one thing I have some level of control over is my weight. I can at least try to lose weight. It starts tomorrow. Half a million steps in the next three months – 1 million if I can manage it. No more chocolate. Better choices. For me.

 

What I achieved:

  • Finished my miles for this month – walked over 5 miles tonight.
  • Signed up for the (Half) Million steps for Diabetes UK.
  • Signed two petitions.
  • Made sure my mum had a good birthday.
  • Saw my brother for the first time in 3 months.
  • Saw my nan again. Gave her the buttons I bought for her.
  • Finally got the ASMR tracks I downloaded onto my MP3 player!

 

 

Tuesday Journal: 23/06/20.

This one will cover two weeks as I didn’t do last week….

 

Things I am grateful for:

  • Painkillers – been in so much pain for the last ten days.
  • Games -board / computer
  • Having places to share my thoughts… even if I do have to edit myself a bit.

 

What I struggled with:

  • Pain…. and not feeling very well…. plus feeling so tired / exhausted. Worried something might be wrong with me. Just can’t shake the neck pain & accompanying back / rib / shoulder / collarbone pain and headaches. Feel like I’m coming down with a cold or something too. And no amount of sleep helps with the fatigue. Feel rubbish physically and it’s affecting me mentally. Can’t really do anything.

What I learnt from it:

  • Nothing. There’s nothing to learn from it. Other than to look after myself.

 

What I achieved:

  • These first few will make it sound like I don’t appreciate the people and didn’t want to do the things I did, but it’s not that at all – I am so depressed at the moment, I have no motivation and everything is ‘too much’. That being said, I met my work friend on her birthday for a socially distanced walk.
  • I finally saw my nan after 3 months, and showed her some of my crochet.
  • I finally got round to replying to someone to explain and resolve something.
  • Finished my little crochet project for someone’s birthday.
  • Did some tidying, despite not feeling well.
  • Persevered with reading crochet patterns that were hard to understand.
  • Joined a new social media platform where my opinions are less likely to be attacked.
  • Submitted a blog post to help others during lockdown – but think I misunderstood, so will be withdrawing it today.
  • And just given feedback on something as requested…. going against my urge to totally ignore, given I was left with the impression not to contact the person in the future. But strictly business. Questions answered. Done and dusted.

 

 

Tuesday Journal: 09/06/20

*Self-harm theme*

 

 

Things I am grateful for:

  •  Family – helping me with my arm over the weekend.
  • Chocolate!
  • Pain-relief – ice, painkillers, gels etc.
  • Sleep.
  • Games – board games & Animal Crossing.

 

What I struggled with:

  • Self-harm again – been unable to stop. Think it’s because I’d gone over a month without any form of self-harm, which was a huge step for me this year… once I start I often can’t stop. Any time I was left alone in the house I felt I had to top up on the pain and damage… almost became a habit.

 

What I learned from it:

  • That self-harm stops me being able to do the things that keep me sane – creative stuff. Need my hands for that.
  • Be honest and reach out for help afterwards.
  • That I won’t have a very ‘successful’ week & have much to add to these journals if I hurt myself, to the point of being unable to do anything.

 

 

Things I achieved:

  • Told someone about my arm injury so they could help – and prepared to actually go and have it looked at, but didn’t need to in the end.
  •  Sorted out my diazepam situation – meant phoning the doctor’s today and receiving a phone call back too (hate using the phone, but did it).
  •  Resting my arm – treating it right for a few days – meant stopping crochet, guitar and everything I enjoy, and left me rather bored, but more important to heal, rather than pushing through pain to pretend I was fine – which I had done for the first couple of days….
  • Finished the online shopping for a family member’s birthday coming up.
  • The weekly shop, despite secretly being in pain at the time.

 

 

Tuesday Journal: 02/06/20

*SH / suicidal feelings*

 

 

Things I’m grateful for:

  • Again, the escapism of Animal Crossing.
  • Again, crochet.
  • Family.
  • Board games.
  • That MH site I joined last week. Not got support from it as such, but at least it’s somewhere I can actually express my feelings freely without judgement.
  • Beautiful flowers I spot on my walks.
  • Sleep – an escape from pain of every kind.

 

What I struggled with:

  • Self-harm & going backwards in recovery & communication. Shut down. Unable to talk to anyone or express my feelings. Paranoia about people’s opinions of me / intentions. False accusations. Gaslighting. Stigma. Blame. Triggers. Trauma. Snowballing thoughts / feelings about everything – grief, loss, bullying, abandonments, way people treated me, the WC, hopelessness, never fitting in, self-hatred. I could go on, but reluctant to use my voice anymore. Only writing this for the sake of keeping a record for going back to the WC at some point. If I live that long. Otherwise done.

What I learnt from it:

  • Keep my mouth shut & my opinions to myself. Safer that way.
  • Don’t let anyone in. Safer that way.
  • Nobody will ever understand me or my intentions. I will spend my life defending and explaining myself but it will fall on deaf ears.
  • I’m alone. I deserve to be. I’m meant to be.
  • It’s better to live in my own little bubble, talk to nobody, keep myself to myself, bottle my thoughts and feelings up and take them out on myself, silently. Like I used to. People liked me more then.
  • I need to go back to being a doormat who never spoke or smiled. Who knew her place.
  • Yeah this all sounds negative. You won’t change my views on this though. I’m beyond broken now.  I can’t do this anymore.

 

What I achieved:

  • Finished May miles and signed up for June.
  • Continuing my vitamins.
  • Unfortunately that’s probably about it. Oh, spoke to family members on the phone and my work friend. Was a big struggle though. I’m all peopled out. I just want peace now. I’m not well. Physically or mentally. Recovery is gone. It’s all too much. Life keeps reminding me why I’ll never belong here. That I’m too messed up to cope with this world and the people in it. That it’s only a matter of time. There’s no coming back from all of this. You can’t fix a broken soul. And people will never change. Too much has happened since lockdown that’s closed me down for good. I quit.

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Journal: 26/05/20

This one covers the last two weeks, as I never got round to doing my Tuesday journal last week. How I’ll remember everything from the last two weeks I have no idea!!

 

Things I am grateful for:

  • Water (as usual!) – essential and refreshing. Can solve most ailments.
  • Crochet (as usual!) – keeps me sane.
  •  Animal Crossing game – absolutely love it!! So much better than the Wii game I used to play. Addicted to it. But before anyone says anything, I’m not into the social element of it – playing with others – yet. Happy enough on my own.
  •  Cooler days. Can’t stand this hot weather.
  • People who talk to me, but also people who understand when I can’t talk to others.
  • The friendly cat I met yesterday on my walk – beautiful and cheered me up entirely. I’m someone who feels so rejected if cats run off when I talk to them. This one wanted me there! So I was happy. 🙂
  • Our neighbours who randomly gave us some flowers and chocolates, just because they recognised how much we do for others (shopping for our elderly next door neighbour & my nan). They thought we deserved a treat. Was so lovely and unexpected, and warmed my heart. ❤

 

What I struggled with:

  • Anger…. some to do with politics the last couple of days. Could do without that crap. But also anger at the Wellbeing Centre (frustration), and mainly anger at my former friend for abandoning me like she did, and her response or lack thereof, to my last communication with her. Will write about it sometime, to let it out, but it’s played on my mind a lot recently, as my God-daughter’s birthday was the other day. I’m angry at my former friend for destroying the bond I had with her daughter. That’s the thing I’ll never recover from… losing the kids. I just can’t understand the mentality that causes someone to ditch someone at their lowest, and to respond to feelings of hurt, or someone standing up and saying something wasn’t fair or right, with silence, rather than a ‘You’re right, it wasn’t fair and I’m sorry’. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand her, and I don’t understand what I ever did to deserve being treated the way I was. It’s not fair or right, and I hope one day she’ll understand what she did wrong and feel bad about it, rather than blaming me for what happened.

What I learnt from it:

  • In terms of the political anger – step away. Come off Twitter for now. I’m fragile and on edge at the moment for certain reasons. My anger can be easily triggered. Must avoid those triggers.
  •  In terms of the Wellbeing Centre – at the moment I’ve learnt to close down from them. I can’t pretend I’m okay with them. I’m not. But just like with my former friend, they won’t listen to or understand what I’m saying. There’s no point saying anything more to them. It’ll only lead to more frustration and anger.
  • And in terms of the stuff with my former friend – that’s a work in progress. I can’t say I’ve learnt anything from it as it’s still happening. I just need to process some stuff. I don’t talk about or write about it anymore. So it’s built-up inside me. This lockdown is making me face stuff I’d buried. So I need to work through it.
  • It’s okay to be angry. When people treat you wrong, I think anger is a healthy sign – it shows that you know you deserve better – which means you value yourself enough to say that something wasn’t right and you’re worth more than what they did to you.
  • It wasn’t my fault what happened. I may never understand why it happened. I may never forgive her for how she cut me out of her life. But to be honest if she can cut me out so cruelly, then I’m better off without her. I clearly never knew her. I didn’t know the potential for such cold abandonment was lurking in my life all those years. I trusted her. I thought I was safe with her. It’s better to know the truth than to forever live a lie. But it was not my fault and I did not deserve it. Yes I can accept she had her own issues to deal with. I fully acknowledged that and sympathised. I even said she should focus on herself and her own mental health. That was caring. But I still had a right to stand up for myself and say I didn’t deserve to pay the price for her issues with other people. If she can’t acknowledge the hurt she caused me, then I’m better off out of that situation anyway. I need people who take responsibility for themselves and aren’t afraid of accountability and admitting mistakes and apologising for them.
  • So in a way I guess the anger is teaching me about myself. It’s teaching me my values, morals, the good qualities I have inside (somewhere – they’ve got a bit lost lately!), and it’s helping me find my boundaries, my expectations of others, and in a sense although the ‘Why?’ aspect does affect my self-worth, it’s also a battle between feeling I must’ve done something to deserve it, and knowing I did NOTHING to deserve it (good self-worth). So people who try to break you can sometimes be the people to strengthen you and your belief in yourself. God that sounds profound. I don’t truly believe all this yet, but I’m working on it. I can’t let this destroy me. Got enough trying to do that already…

 

What I’ve achieved:

  •  Learning lots of new crochet ideas.
  •  Joined an online MH community recommended by the Wellbeing Centre… felt like a good step, but having looked at it more now, I’m not sure it’s a healthy environment, as there’s so much triggering stuff on it and seems to be no moderating going on. Just lots of people saying they don’t want to live anymore, and nobody doing anything about it. So probably won’t continue on there.
  • Spoke to my nan on the phone for quite a while. I know that sounds daft, but I don’t tend to talk to anyone on the phone usually, even her. But wanted to cheer her up as I’ve not seen her in weeks.
  • Grew sunflowers – we’re having a family competition. Mine actually grew!! I’m currently third place out of four though, but at least it’s growing!
  • Walked four miles yesterday. Longest walk since lockdown I think….
  • Managed four weeks without any self-harm. Please don’t celebrate this too much though, as it never usually lasts… normally get triggered and slip up soon after celebrating a milestone. It will happen. But even though it will, I guess it’s still an achievement to have gone pretty much a month without it. Compared to earlier in the year, it’s good.  I remember writing these journals at the Centre and an achievement being going a week without self-harm… so four of them is an improvement.

 

 

 

Tuesday Journal: 12/05/20

Things I am grateful for:

  • My new friend – & for inviting me to the Crochet Therapy group – given me lots of ideas and inspiration, and might connect me to lots of other people with a shared hobby.
  • The Hermes lady who keeps delivering parcels to me lately – she doesn’t know it but she’s a lifesaver. Crochet and other creative things are the only thing keeping me going right now. So she is actually saving my life by doing her job.
  • Finally managing to order a Nintendo Switch!
  • Brief moments of not feeling unwell – had various ailments this week…
  • Water, as usual. Cures most things!

 

What I struggled with:

  • My key worker not phoning me on the first anniversary of my friend’s suicide, despite saying she would. Will blog about it later. But she phoned yesterday instead and sent my mood right down. Felt so disconnected from her. Didn’t want to hear from her.

What I learnt from it:

  • I’m alone.
  • Everyone lets you down.
  • I learnt to get through it on my own…. it’s not to be seen as a good thing though, as my trust is damaged now, and I won’t open up and ask for help again.

 

What I achieved:

  • Crocheted a baby’s cardigan.
  • Got through the first anniversary of Liv’s death.
  • Got through the week without harming myself.
  • Finished crocheting my triangular wrap.
  • Replied to people, where I could.

 

 

‘Tuesday’ Journal: 05/05/20

Oops, forgot my Tuesday journal this week! So will do it today (Friday 08/05/20), from Tuesday last week until now….

 

 

Things I’m grateful for: 

  • Food!
  • Water!
  •  Crochet….
  •  Sleep….

(Not very imaginative this week I’m afraid!)

 

What I struggled with:

  • Illness & pain. Keep feeling really rundown. Have had awful headaches. Pulled something in my neck too. And other ailments as well.

What I learnt from it:

  • Take it easy.
  • Take some time to really rest.
  • Drink more – need to work on this.
  • Started taking vitamins religiously.
  • Look after mental health as that affects physical health too.

 

What I achieved:

  • I asked my key worker to phone me yesterday as it was the first anniversary of the death of my friend, and people don’t tend to support me in my grief, so I wanted to feel I wasn’t alone with it. She said she would. She didn’t. Major cock-up. But at least I asked for what I needed rather than just wallowing in self-pity. Not my fault she let me down.
  • I crocheted a baby cardigan for the first time – not thrilled with it. A lot to improve on, but it’s okay for a first attempt I suppose.
  •  Tried to communicate a bit more with people this week – haven’t got round to everyone – focused more on Facebook people and my blog. Will get to Twitter soon hopefully. Little steps. I’m doing my best. Phoned my work friend too, which was hard to do, but important I did it. A lot more I need to do still but I’ll get there.
  •  Got through the first anniversary of Liv’s passing, on my own pretty much.

 

 

 

Tuesday Journal: 28/04/20

Will be blogging about the hell of the last week, but thought I ought to get the journal thing out of the way first…

 

 

Things I’m grateful for:

  • Being able to get the wool to continue crocheting my blankets! Managed to order my purple wool at about 3am the other day. Crochet is life right now.
  • Chocolate.
  • Diazepam.
  • Painkillers & other pain-relievers.
  • Music.
  • Playing the old Animal Crossing game on the Wii. Wish I could get the new console & game though…..

 

What I struggled with:

  • Being upset by ‘X’, talking about it to my key worker & ending up even more misunderstood and invalidated. Will be blogging about this separately, but basically ended up with me feeling too frustrated to know how to externalise it healthily. Feel none of them ever listen to me. They fob me off with excuses and ‘reasons’ for doing things, whilst ignoring the fact I know the whole story – I know the facts and I know my feelings and both are being overlooked here. What they’re saying doesn’t make sense, so that means the truth isn’t involved. They’re just covering each other’s arses, whilst sending my mental health spiralling.

What I learnt from it:

  • Not to bother talking to the Wellbeing Centre about anything. Not whilst in isolation – they only make me worse.
  • People are dumb. They don’t read properly…. no matter how clearly I spell things out for them they’ll still misinterpret it and leave me banging my head against a brick wall. It’s not my problem – it’s theirs.  But I deserve better than this.
  • Don’t care about X…. or anyone really. Need to learn how to not care about others.
  • I should never have told the Centre about my feelings for X. It’s only with hindsight I can see it was a mistake… but I really thought they’d be more help than the IAPT service were a couple of years ago.
  • I’m going to have to work through this on my own, as other people only make it worse.
  • I’m more angry with X now than I am worried about him. Maybe that’ll do me some good.

 

What I achieved:

  • Made another NHS frontline ‘bear’ – except it’s not a bear… it’s a pig! It’s rubbish, so won’t be sharing a pig-ture.
  • Have so far crocheted nine squares for my new blanket…
  • A couple more walks. Hope to finish my miles tomorrow.
  • Guess you could call emailing my key worker an achievement, even though it led to a mental health crisis for me last night….. I’ve been told I’m brave for tackling issues like I do. Not sure about that. Starting to think it’s stupidity not bravery. And I definitely went too far last night. Embarrassed by that. Will write about it later.
  •  Not doing so well at achieving things at the moment to be honest. Just surviving is the achievement. It’s been a terrible week for me.

Tuesday Journal: 21/04/20

Things I’m grateful for:

  • The garden – taken to lying down in the evening as the sun’s setting, to just feel the sun on my face, without it being too hot. I’m thankful I have that space to do that. Some aren’t as fortunate.
  • Creativity + Hobbycraft delivering! Means I can keep busy with arty stuff. It’s been so important to me recently. Will explain what I’ve done, in the achievement bit…
  • The stars, and how they put things in perspective. And even if we’re feeling alone, we’re all under the same sky, so we’re never as apart as we may feel.

 

 

What I struggled with:

  •  Self-esteem.  Hating myself for being so demanding & negative, and for not being good at responding to people.

What I learnt from it:

  • I’m not perfect. I don’t have to be. I’m doing the best I can. I’m sure others are struggling to respond to people too. It’s a trying time. I’m doing what I can to survive right now. I’ll get round to responding to people as and when I can. The right people will still be there to talk to once I’m out of survival mode. If they give up on me then so be it. I can’t always be what people want me to be. But I also have to understand that others may be struggling too, and maybe that’s why I feel ‘ignored’ by them a lot of the time. It’s not wrong of me to speak out though and admit I feel neglected by everyone. They don’t know my story.

 

What I achieved:

  • Made a frontline NHS bear (crochet).
  • Took up another hobby – pointillism – takes a lot of concentration and patience, but it’s oddly therapeutic. Doing a minion at the moment. Using grey and black fine point art pens.
  • Reached out to ask the Centre if there’s been any progress on plans… heard today that there has been.
  • Increased my miles for this month from 5 to 15… less than 6 miles to go now.
  • The shopping – that’s always a huge achievement for me.
  • Finally started writing the letter for my nan. Taken me so long to start it… didn’t know what to say. Usually good with words, but struggling with it at the moment.

 

 

‘Tuesday’ Journal: 14/04/20 (16/04/20)

*Advanced trigger warning – see below*

 

 

I forgot to write my journal on Tuesday this week. So I’ll try and do it now. Before I start I just want to apologise for not being good at responding to comments on here. I do see them and I appreciate them so much – more than you could know. I’m just not coping too well. It’s annoying because I feel so alone right now, so talking to people who take the time to talk to me would be a wonderful idea… it annoys me that I struggle to do it. It’s counterintuitive. But a big part of my mental health struggle right now. I’m a mess. And I hate seeming so rude to everyone. I’m sorry.

 

My ‘Tuesday journal’ will include up to today as well, as I can barely remember what day it is, let alone what happened when!!

 

..

 

*Strong language and suicidal feelings*

 

 

What I am grateful for:

  • Chocolate!! At last!! Reunited with my comfort. My body will regret it, but my mouth & mind are very happy!!
  •  Being able to order yarn online – though I still can’t get the colour I need to continue my blanket…
  • Sleep.
  • Beauty of nature – going for walks and seeing the flowers, the sunsets, the light through the trees etc.
  • Music.

 

What I struggled with:

  • Being invisible still. People not supporting me during my hard time with grief. Hard enough being ignored whilst grieving – had that for a couple of years now… but whilst in isolation and not having my support group, it’s harder. I hate people right now. People suck. They talk about reaching out…. they talk about checking in with friends…. they talk about ‘we’re all in this together’… seems some of us are more in it together than others, i.e. me. When I reach out I’m left talking to myself. And nobody checks in with me. I give up. I’m a nothing to everyone.  I’m done with people. I’m done with myself. I’m done with life.
    Putting myself out there, trying to be positive to make connections with people who used to talk to me = silence. Share my grief and pain = silence. Talk about my mental health = silence. Apparently the problem is me, and my mental health, rather than how other people treat me. Bollocks to that. The solution is people acknowledging my existence. The answer is people bloody well caring for a change. The solution is people being my friend. But fuck the lot of them. All my ‘friends’ hurt and abandoned me, or are dead. So fuck it all. Fuck. It. All. I don’t want to be alive right now….

What I learnt from it:

  • I’m an awful person.
  • Nobody cares.
  • I can’t do this life thing.
  • I want to be dead.
  • It hurts too much.

 

What I achieved:

  • Shopping.
  • Writing poems.
  • Walking.
  • Surviving. So far.

 

 

..

 

And with that, I’m done. I’m done opening up. I’m done complaining about people making me feel alone. I just have to let them make me feel that way and just feel it. Had this with my former ‘best friend’ – mental health suffering because of their actions / inactions…?? STFU about it. Accept it. Otherwise they’ll ditch you. Fuck people. I’m not okay. But nobody gives a shit about that. So from now on if I ever talk again nobody will know how close to the edge I am. One day they’ll know. And they’ll wish they’d treated me better when I was alive. They’ll wish they’d acknowledged me when they could’ve saved me. But until then I will not burden anyone, or complain about anyone anymore. Because people have a knack of turning it round to make me feel like shit for them not being there for me. Fuck them. Fuck all of them. I really am alone. I hate every ‘friend’ who ever hurt me, and turned their back on me, and I hate Liv right now, for leaving me on my own. I can’t do this anymore.

Tuesday Journal: 07/04/20

*Self-harm*

 

Things I am grateful for: 

  • Family.
  •  Photo challenges to keep my mind busy and keep me looking forward to ‘tomorrow’.
  •  Quiet time with no expectations / responsibilities (except doing the shopping once a week).
  •  Willpower.
  • Diazepam. Had relentless headaches this week, because no matter what I did I couldn’t relax. So took a couple one night, had a really long sleep and felt better for it.

 

What I struggled with:

  • Self-harm…. in response to how I perceived comments from others online & real life.

What I learnt from it: 

  • It’s okay if it happens. It’s a stressful time. I’m doing the best I can. It doesn’t erase all the days I didn’t do it… there are far more days I don’t self-harm. It’s a blip.
  • Maybe I should avoid people and social media around certain times when my emotions might be more fragile.
  • Don’t share opinions online. People love to argue. Acceptance is rare.
  • I need to look after myself when I’m struggling.

 

What I achieved:

  • Spoke to family about what I’ve been struggling with this year – the Wellbeing Centre stuff. The secret was weighing too heavily on me.
  •  A lot of tidying / cleaning. A lot of chores I’d been putting off.
  •  Did the daily photo challenges – only missed yesterday as was too busy.
  • Started making a blanket (crochet).
  •  Did 2 of my initial 5 miles for April (hope to increase from 5 miles but depends on lockdown rules etc.).